How to improve communication with an autistic person
Learn how to improve communication with a person with autism using clear language, visual aids, response time, and practical strategies.
10/2/20269 min read
-Speaking is not the only way to communicate
One of the most helpful insights for a family is understanding that speech and communication are not exactly the same thing.
An autistic person might speak a lot, a little, or not use spoken language as their primary form of communication.
They may also communicate through:
* gestures;
* facial expressions;
* pointing;
* images;
* writing;
* electronic devices;
* sign language;
* objects;
* body movements;
* augmentative and alternative communication systems.
The National Autistic Society explains that communication can take many forms and that support should focus on reducing barriers so the person can express themselves and participate effectively.
That is why one of the most important questions is not:
“How do we get them to speak more?”
But rather:
“How can we enable them to communicate what they need, think, feel, and want?”
That shift in perspective can transform daily interactions.
1. Give them time to respond
This tip seems simple, but it can make a huge difference.
When we ask a question, we often expect an immediate answer.
However, some autistic people may need more time to process information and formulate a response.
For example:
“Do you want to go out?”
Silence doesn't necessarily mean they didn't hear you.
They might just need a few extra seconds.
The National Autistic Society recommends allowing processing time and adapting communication to each person's individual style.
Try this:
Ask the question.
Wait.
Don't repeat it immediately.
Don't rephrase it five times.
Don't finish the answer for them.
That brief pause can make communication much easier.
2. Use clear, concrete phrases
Ambiguous expressions can be difficult to interpret.
For example:
“We’ll see later.”
“Behave normally.”
“We’re leaving in a little while.” What exactly does “later” mean?
What does “in a little while” mean?
When a person has difficulty interpreting implicit information, a more concrete phrase can be much easier.
Instead of:
“We’re leaving soon.”
you can say:
“We’re leaving at 6:00.”
Instead of:
“Do it the usual way.”
you can explain exactly what you need.
Recommendations from the National Autistic Society include using clear language, avoiding information overload, and minimizing ambiguous expressions.
3. Don’t ask too many questions at once
Imagine saying:
“Have you eaten? Do you want water? Shall we go to the doctor? What time do you want to go out? What do you want to wear?”
That is a lot of questions all at once.
For some people, that amount of information can be overwhelming.
Try asking one question at a time.
“Do you want water?”
Wait.
Then:
“Do you want to go out?”
Communication doesn't always improve by talking more.
- It often improves when we reduce the amount of information.
4. Use visual supports
Words disappear once we stop saying them.
An image can remain in front of the person.
That is why the following can be useful:
* photographs;
* pictograms;
* calendars;
* lists;
* schedules;
* drawings;
* written words;
* visual sequences.
For example:
DOCTOR → WAIT → APPOINTMENT → HOME
This way, the person can visualize what is going to happen.
Visual supports can be used to prepare for changes, explain events, and make it easier to understand specific situations.
5. Don’t confuse a lack of speech with a lack of understanding
This is a mistake that can hinder communication.
Just because a person does not respond verbally does not automatically mean they do not understand.
The ability to speak and the ability to understand—or to have something to communicate—are not the same thing.
That is why it is important to continue providing accessible information and opportunities to respond.
For autistic adults, NICE recommends taking specific communication needs into account and providing communication aids when necessary.
6. Allow for different ways of responding
You can ask:
“Do you want to go?” And offer:
👍 Yes
👎 No
You can also use:
Yes / No
Now / Later
I want / I don't want
Pain / No pain
Talk / Rest
These types of options can be especially useful when producing a spontaneous verbal response is difficult.
But there is an important precaution:
- Do not turn communication into a test.
The goal is not to prove that the person knows how to respond.
The goal is for them to be able to express what they need.
7. Augmentative and alternative communication can be a real tool
Augmentative and alternative communication (known as AAC) encompasses various forms of communication that can supplement or replace speech.
It can include:
*Unaided AAC:
gestures, expressions, movements, signs, or pointing.
*Aided AAC:
communication boards, picture books, apps, or speech-generating devices.
ASHA notes that AAC systems can be tailored to each person's needs and that there are no specific prerequisites regarding age, or cognitive, linguistic, or motor abilities, to begin using them.
The National Autistic Society also describes AAC as a tool that can help autistic people communicate more effectively and independently.
8. Don't limit communication to just making requests
A person also needs to be able to communicate:
“I like this.”
“This bothers me.”
“I’m tired.”
“I’m scared.”
“I want to talk to you.”
“I’m happy.”
“Leave me alone.”
Communication shouldn't be limited to asking for food, water, toys, or activities.
- Communication is a means of participating in life.
That is why it is important to create opportunities to express opinions, preferences, emotions, and decisions.
9. Give them real opportunities to make choices
Asking:
“What do you want?”
can be too open-ended a question.
It might be easier to ask:
“Do you want to go for a walk or stay home?”
“Water or juice?”
“This t-shirt or that one?”
However, there is no need to offer ten options.
Too many alternatives can make it harder to decide. The National Autistic Society recommends keeping in mind that an excess of choices or open-ended questions can cause anxiety for some people.
10. Observe what happens before a challenging behavior occurs
Sometimes a person cannot say:
- “I find this place unbearable.”
But they may show it through their behavior.
They might:
* want to leave;
* cover their ears;
* stop responding;
* withdraw;
* increase repetitive movements;
* start repeating a phrase;
* become increasingly restless.
This may indicate a need they are not yet able to express.
Communication and sensory challenges can be linked, and differences in sensory processing can influence interaction and participation.
Before asking:
“Why are you doing that?”
it may be more helpful to consider:
- “What is this behavior trying to communicate to me?”
11. Learn the communication system they use
If a person uses a communication board, an app, photographs, gestures, or any other system, the people around them should also be familiar with it.
It is of little use for a person to have a communication tool if those around them do not know how to interact using it.
AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) can involve different modalities depending on the context, and a person may use more than one system depending on the situation.
For example, they might use:
gestures at home,
a board at school,
a tablet when out and about,
writing in certain situations.
Flexibility can be helpful.
12. Do not talk about the person as if they were not there
This advice may seem obvious, but it is very important.
Imagine a person is standing right in front of you and you start talking to someone else:
“Do you know why they’re doing that?”
“They always get like this.”
“They don’t understand when I speak to them.”
Even if they have difficulty speaking, they deserve to participate in the conversation to the best of their ability.
Talk with the person, not just about the person. 13. Do not force eye contact
Maintaining eye contact is not a requirement for demonstrating attention or respect.
A person can listen while looking elsewhere, handling an object, walking, or performing another action.
Communication should focus on ensuring information is conveyed and that the person has a way to respond, rather than on demanding specific social behaviors.
The National Autistic Society also notes that certain pressures to conform to non-autistic social norms can negatively affect some autistic people.
14. Use their interests to create opportunities for communication
Personal interests can serve as bridges for communication.
If a person enjoys:
trains,
animals,
cooking,
music,
sports,
video games,
cars,
or any other topic, you can use it to spark conversations and offer choices that are meaningful to them.
The National Autistic Society recommends leveraging a person's own interests to foster motivation and communicative engagement.
For example:
“Which song would you like?”
“This train or that one?”
“Do you want to keep watching the game?”
You aren't forcing a conversation about a topic that doesn't interest them.
You are building communication around something that already sparks their interest.
15. Learn to recognize when they need a break
Sometimes, the best form of communication is allowing for silence.
If the person is exhausted or overwhelmed, they might need:
fewer questions,
less noise,
less interaction,
more time.
Not every conversation needs to be resolved immediately.
Allowing for a pause can prevent a simple situation from escalating into a highly stressful experience.
- 16. Ask how they prefer to communicate
This might be one of the most important questions:
-“What is the easiest way for you to communicate?”
The answer might surprise you.
They might prefer writing.
Or pointing.
Or using an app.
Or sending messages.
Or talking face-to-face only for short periods.
Or using several methods at once.
Communication supports should be based on the individual's own needs and goals. The National Autistic Society emphasizes that interventions and supports must be tailored to the individual and take into account the person's views and goals.
-A simple routine to improve communication at home
You can start with something very simple. - Dedicate 10 minutes each day to a shared activity.
No television.
No phone.
No pressure to converse.
Choose an activity that interests the person.
It could be:
drawing,
cooking,
organizing a collection,
listening to music,
playing a game,
looking at photographs.
During those minutes:
- Observe.
- Offer choices.
- Wait.
- Respond to their attempts to communicate.
- Do not constantly correct them.
- Do not turn the moment into a training session.
The goal is to create an experience where communication makes sense.
- A practical tool: the “Personal Communication Dictionary”
You can create a chart for the whole family:
| Person's signal | Possible meaning | How to respond |
| -------------------- | -------------------------- | ------------------------------ |
| Covers ears | Too much noise | Find a quiet place |
| Repeats a question | Needs reassurance | Give a clear answer |
| Points to the door | Wants to leave | Confirm and offer an option |
| Moves away | Needs space | Do not chase or pressure |
| Uses an image | Making a request | Respond to that communication |
Important:
- The meaning should be discovered together with the person, not simply assumed.
The same behavior can have different meanings depending on the context.
- What if the person doesn't speak?
The first step is to let go of the idea that "not speaking" means "unable to communicate."
They may need an alternative or augmentative communication system.
A speech-language pathologist or communication specialist can assess which method best suits their needs.
Augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) can range from gestures and communication boards to electronic devices with voice output.
And something very important:
- Introducing AAC does not mean ceasing to value speech.
The goal is to provide the person with a functional way to communicate.
- What mistakes should we avoid?
There are five particularly important ones:
Speaking too fast.
Asking too many questions in a row.
Using ambiguous language.
Not giving them time to respond.
Automatically interpreting a behavior as disobedience.
And there is another one that is even more important:
- Do not assume that we know better than the person how they should communicate.
The right system is the one that allows them to express their needs and participate as effectively and independently as possible.
- When should you seek professional help?
It is advisable to request a professional assessment when communication difficulties significantly interfere with daily life or when the person lacks a functional way to express important needs. A communication and language professional can assess needs and potential AAC systems.
It may also be necessary to check hearing, vision, or other factors when there is an unexpected change in communication ability.
NICE recommends that communication needs be part of the care provided to autistic people and that communication aids be used when necessary.
- Communication begins when we stop insisting on a single way of doing it.
A person might not respond the way we expect.
They might not make eye contact.
They might need twenty seconds to answer.
They might prefer to point to an image.
They might write instead of speaking.
They might use a tablet.
They might need silence before they can respond.
All of that can still be communication.
- Our job is not to get an autistic person to communicate exactly the way we do.
Our job is to help remove barriers so they can say:
“I want this.”
“I don’t want this.”
“This hurts.”
“I like this.”
“I need help.”
“Let me rest.”
“I am happy.”
Because having an effective way to communicate what one thinks, feels, and needs is not a luxury.
- It is a fundamental part of autonomy.
- Frequently asked questions about communication and autism
Can an autistic person who does not speak communicate?
Yes. Communication can take place through gestures, images, writing, sign language, boards, apps, speech-generating devices, and other forms of AAC.
How can I communicate with an autistic person who takes a long time to respond?
Use clear questions and a moderate amount of information, and allow sufficient time for them to process and respond. Avoid immediately repeating the question.
Can images help a person with autism?
Visual supports—such as photographs, symbols, written words, calendars, and other tools—can facilitate understanding and preparation for specific situations.
What is AAC?
Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) includes methods that supplement or replace speech, ranging from gestures and symbol systems to electronic devices and speech-generating devices.
Should I insist that an autistic person speak?
The priority should be enabling them to communicate functionally and independently, rather than forcing them to use speech exclusively. Supports should be tailored to the individual and their communication goals.
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